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Subj: A day in the life of Tony Stark post Civil War
Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 at 08:08:13 pm CST
Reply Subj: Yes and no
Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 at 01:59:43 am CST

In a posh bedroom in Stark's tower, Tony awakens next to Pepper Potts.

Tony: Mornin' Pep. How about some coffee?

Pepper: Oh, Tony! This is so wrong! I cant do this, Happy only just died a few weeks ago - *sob!*

Tony: Oh shut up, will ya? Stop throwing that in my face or else i'll throw your family into a cell in 42. Happy is dead, now it's your job to keep "Mr Happy".....uh, happy. Now quit your blubbering. It annoys me and stings what little conscience I have left.

Pepper: Yes sir. *sniffles* I guess I will have that coffee then. It's going to be a busy day.

Tony: I wasn't offering coffee. I was ASKING for it. Actually, I was demanding it. Let's get a move-on woman! (Slaps her on the behind and she shuffles off in tears)

Tony rolls over and places an arm around Miriam Sharpe.

A few hours later, at a news conference, Tony appears in partial armor.

Tony: Thank you all for coming. It's been a great day for America. A new hero has stepped forward and earned our gratitude and respect. I have convinced the president to sign a full pardon and grant legal citizenship to the Red Skull. It's the least we can do for this great man after he so kindly took down that whimpering, traitorous douchebag Steve Rogers. Normally, i'd load Red Skull so full of nanites that his eyes would burst, but after speaking with him, and getting a clear understanding of his political views, I think he'll be a tremendous asset to the Initiative and to the new America that I - I mean, our government has envisioned.

A few questions into the press conference:

Reporter: Tony - excuse me - Director Stark, what of the remaining unregistered heroes? These so-called New Avengers?

Tony: Well, they're good at hiding, i'll give them that (chuckles). I can tell you this much; if they wont come out, we'll flush them out. Just this morning I placed ads in the Daily Bugle that discloses all of Peter Parker's friends and their addresses. Oh and anyone who wishes to send a "card" or some "flowers" to his Aunt (makes very deliberate quotation gestures with his fingers), she's in room 344 at Mercy Hospital. I hear the old bag's on life support. Let this be a lesson to all of you sympathizers out there - no good can come from caring about a loved one if that loved one is in fact an unregistered person with superpowers. Whether they blow up mountains, or talk to canaries - register now - because either way, your ass is mine.

Crowd of reporters stand and applaud. Several older reporters render salutes to Tony. Tony appears pleased.

Tony: Now if you'll all excuse me, I have a threesome set up with Maria Hill and Sally Floyd and we're all to meet on the Helicarrier in a half an hour. God bless America! (flies off)

The end. Literally.

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