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Author
Hatman




So I've written up script for the pages RE-Man has drawn so far, and just for fun I thought I'd quickly put the dialogue onto Vartha's inks, for a couple of reasons. I wanted to see how the word balloons would fit on the page, making sure the art isn't obscured and the flow is correct. I also wanted to see how the dialogue itself would flow; I found myself making a couple of changes to the script once I put the words on the page.

Once we have coloured art I will put the balloons on with better software than I have at work (I had to use Powerpoint, whereas at home I have Photoshop), so the fonts will be better and I hope to be able to connect some of the balloons rather than have each one completely separate.

So how does the dialogue read? Any changes, either to wording or placement, you think should be done?



~Hat~



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Jamo


Member Since: Sat May 17, 2008
Posts: 2,063


You said you use Photoshop at home? Haven't tried that.
I use Adobe Illustrator (working on a video novel for my nephew) from a tutorial I googled, think it was from a Comic Craft link. I'll try to find it later.
I'd go up one on the stroke for the word balloons...the fonts seem to overpower the balloons...

Looks good, otherwise...




Ban "no text" posts!
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djcc





I think it's a great effort with cool potential, and a very cool way to tap into the talent that is surely out there among boarders -- obviously you guys are displaying some of that


slight critique --for personal taste, and this may be only my personal taste, I like a font style that looks more like the lettering was done by hand --and the dialogue IMO can be slightly more conversational

but I really like this and I think it's a really great idea and worthwhile production --great job that will only get even better...


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Hatman





    Quote:
    I think it's a great effort with cool potential, and a very cool way to tap into the talent that is surely out there among boarders -- obviously you guys are displaying some of that


I'm amazed not just by RE-Man's artistic abilities, but also his story-telling abilities. He lays out his pages beautifully in a way that leaves the action very easy to follow. A lot of comic pros could take some lessons on sequential storytelling from him.


    Quote:
    slight critique --for personal taste, and this may be only my personal taste, I like a font style that looks more like the lettering was done by hand --and the dialogue IMO can be slightly more conversational


That's not the final font style, don't worry! I'm actually playing around with the "Thor" font for Thor right now, and switching the Hulk over to Comic Sans MS. I'll have to dig out my Godhunter mini to see what kind of font-style Bill uses. Really I'm just experimenting right now with placement of the word balloons and making sure the dialogue flows right; I've already done a revision that fixes a panel that is ambiguous as to who is speaking when.

In terms of the dialogue, I'm trying to capture the grandiose way that Bill and Thor tend to talk, without switching back to Ye Old English (which I admit I love to write for Thor, but I'm going for the current version). Hopefully when more pages come out the dialogue will feel a little more organic.

Thanks for the feedback though, I'll keep it in mind for sure!


    Quote:
    but I really like this and I think it's a really great idea and worthwhile production --great job that will only get even better...


RE-Man and Vartha have done a great job, making this thing look beautiful. I really hope Mek finds the time to colour it, and then I hope I do the dialogue justice. Once this thing is done I am definitely going to be lobbying Comicboards management to link to the finished product on all of the boards, not just the Thor board.

~Hat~



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Hatman





    Quote:
    You said you use Photoshop at home? Haven't tried that.



    Quote:
    I use Adobe Illustrator (working on a video novel for my nephew) from a tutorial I googled, think it was from a Comic Craft link. I'll try to find it later.


I have Illustrator, but I haven't really used it. As I've been tweaking what I've done so far (if I do more now when the coloured pages come in I can just copy/paste them onto the coloured page) I've been using PowerPoint to put in the word balloons and then tweaking things in Photoshop.

I may have to see what kind of software I can find for putting in things like word balloons; it'd be nice to have a few more options.


    Quote:
    I'd go up one on the stroke for the word balloons...the fonts seem to overpower the balloons...


Great suggestion. Right now I'm playing with thickening the lines on the word balloons, I'm hoping it solves the problem (so far I'm doing all the lettering in Powerpoint, so I can't just up the stroke. If it doesn't end up working out I'll do the lettering in Illustrator or Photoshop).


    Quote:
    Looks good, otherwise...


Thanks!

~Hat~



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Vartha




the one panel Thor says. "Yea even you Hulk" Think it should be YES.
Writing the new speak is almost proper english without contractions as well.

I like it so far!


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Hatman





    Quote:
    the one panel Thor says. "Yea even you Hulk" Think it should be YES.


I was trying to blend some of the old Thor-speak with the new, since he still does through out the occasional thee or thou.


    Quote:
    Writing the new speak is almost proper english without contractions as well.


So you think I need to change how I've done Thor so far? I thought I was getting the new speak down okay, but if I'm not I'd rather hear it now so I can fix it.


    Quote:
    I like it so far!


Great! I've got another page done up, and I've fixed up the first a bit; I'll post them when I'm at work, since uploading images on dial-up sucks. ;\)

~Hat~


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Hatman




I've been tweaking the first page I posted, and this is my first run at page 4.


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Vartha




I just remember JMS saying there wouldn't be "Can't" and "Wouldn't" it would be Cannot and would not.
He said he modeled the new thorspeak after Aragorn in Return of the king.

It's tough to do Really. I've been writing/Drawing a story (third version since 78) that's set in the Viking era using that exact idea too.
It gives the characters an ancient feel not using any newer phrases, or contractions, without having to use Old English or Shakespearean


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Hatman





    Quote:
    I just remember JMS saying there wouldn't be "Can't" and "Wouldn't" it would be Cannot and would not.



    Quote:
    He said he modeled the new thorspeak after Aragorn in Return of the king.


That sounds about right. I'm trying to get that feel with Thor here, but since he does still use the occasional "Aye" or "Have at thee" I thought throwing in a "Yea" would still work.

I've seen conflicting depictions of how Bill speaks though, so I'm doing some re-reading to try and get his speech right. I always see him as speaking in a kind of grandiose way, but without the Ye Olde English style. I know there have been depictions lately that show otherwise, but Bill saying "Get that !@#$%# away from my hammer" just really felt out of character to me (in Thor: Secret Invasion), so I won't emulate that.


    Quote:
    It's tough to do Really. I've been writing/Drawing a story (third version since 78) that's set in the Viking era using that exact idea too.



    Quote:
    It gives the characters an ancient feel not using any newer phrases, or contractions, without having to use Old English or Shakespearean


Really Lord of the Rings did a fantastic job with the speech of characters like Aragorn; I'm hoping the Thor movie uses the same style of speech for the Asgardians.


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Vartha




Yeah, Bill has had different ways of speaking. He's tough to nail down.
I'd go with the Stormbreaker saga if anything if I used references for him. Oeming Nailed him I think.


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Hatman





    Quote:
    Yeah, Bill has had different ways of speaking. He's tough to nail down.



    Quote:
    I'd go with the Stormbreaker saga if anything if I used references for him. Oeming Nailed him I think.


That's my thinking; I pulled that series from its box last night but didn't get to it. I reread Thor: Secret Invasion first to see how Thor and Bill interacted verbally.

~Hat~


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Vartha




Godhunter brings a new light to BRB too. Bill treating the Asgardians as just another race of beings rather than gods, yet he still has the utmost respect for them.


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Jamo


Member Since: Sat May 17, 2008
Posts: 2,063





Ban "no text" posts!
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djcc




I think when all polished, colored, lettered I can see cool truest poster-created banners....

I really like this stuff, the idea, the effort, the collaboration, etc


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Hatman






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