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In regard to the second of your two bullet points, I don't recall Strange saying that a person had to've died in battle with Spider-Man in order to be transported by the spell.
The eventual death of the villains is a key element of the plot. Spider-Man 3.0 and the five villains assumed that the villains were transported to the MCU just before they died while fighting Spider-Man in their respective realities. Doctor Strange neither confirmed nor denied it. His only goal was to stop the chaos that the misfired spell had caused. Actually, if Sandman & the Lizard had guessed the truth, they would have sided with Doctor Strange against the other villains.
It is not a plot hole but, in my view, in term of coherence, it is far from being one of the highlights of the story.
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In regard to your first bullet point, it's not explicit, but there are implied explanations for both of those (though in the case of Venom 2.0, it involves spoilers for Venom: Let There Be Carnage).
Many thanks for your thoughtful analysis.
My reaction is the same in this case: These implied explanations are far-fetched and far from being highlights of the story.
The truth is that things happened because they served the purpose: Sony & Marvel Studios wanted to make a crossover film with the 5 main villains of the previous film series and the Spider-Man of the MCU.
Since I enjoyed the movie, it's ok in my book.