Thanks to Jamo for the links and the suggestion to use Adobe Illustrator to do the word balloons, I think it looks way better than the original pages I posted. Hopefully this'll be the last time I go back and redo these pages (until the colour ones come in of course), but if there are suggestions on how to improve them then I'll go back and do it!
I tweaked the dialogue too based on the feedback I received, and I think it's the better for it. If you commented on dialogue before, let me know if you like it like this better!
I noticed and felt the difference right away, and it seemed to flow very smoothly and naturally -- it doesn't get better than that!