I would definitely pay money just to see if you were as half as good at writing as you are at pontificating on the quality of other people's. lol
Well, I don't work as a professional writer. So... not sure what you're point is. And if you can't take criticism from some rando on the internet (e.g. ME), then you shouldn't be working as a creative professional in the first place.
People who can't do it or even established they understand it regularly tell people are who successful professionals how crappy they are at it. Similar to out of shape sports fans screaming at some of the best athletes in the world lol